It has been a difficult time where I live. In addition to wars and rumors of wars, economic hardship and despair, and a generally calloused, if not vengeful, feeling toward anyone who is not like us, the city of Erie has had a shooting in which a man killed nine members of his own family and a racially divisive trial verdict, which has led to even greater suspicion and fear.
As a result of all of this, I have been unable to find the light, often amused or amusing voice that I find helpful in writing these pieces. I usually search for what I feel God is asking me to communicate and try to put it in my own words, but anything that has become important to me lately is either tinged with anger, doubt, or fear.
One night recently, I prayed that I couldn’t find anything to say that would demonstrate to an audience of believers or questioners anything that seemed even remotely positive about God. I told God that the world I was seeing had grown too harsh, and I wasn’t sure what role He was playing.
“God,” I prayed, “where are you going with this?”
And God told me, in no uncertain terms, “Bill, that is what I want you to write about.”
So here I am struggling with that most ancient of questions: “Why does God allow so much pain?”
Spoiler alert: I do not successfully answer that question, but hopefully I can help myself get my mind around it.
God Is Aware
Most humans who look at the world around them and have a newer faith in God assume that He could not possibly be aware of how horrible this place can be.
“If God only knew…”
But He does.
Paul’s letter to the Romans admits that “we know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time” (8:22). And then 1 John points out that “the whole world is under control of the evil one” (5:19).
Essentially, when we turn to God to point out the inequities of this world, the Creator of the universe responds with a great big, “I know.”
And not only that, but He knows that some who suffer are innocent. Jesus tells us in Luke that those who suffer are not the most sinful.
(I’m not sure this is making me feel better.)
How Did the World Break?
Regardless of whether you read the Book of Genesis figuratively or literally, the lesson remains the same. All of where we are now is the result of sin, and we are the cause of sin. Let me be clear here: by “we,” I mean all of us.
“Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you” (Gen. 3:17–19).
The pain and struggle of our lives this side of heaven was never God’s plan for us, but it is what we deserve.
Please believe me that I am not going all Puritan fire and brimstone here, but I have come to the conclusion that one of the primary causes of where we are is the thinking that “their” sin deserves censure and punishment (more specifically, that we are responsible for the punishment), while “my” sins should be forgiven.
3 Answers (That May or May Not Help Very Much)
In order to get out of this general sense of hopelessness, I turned to two sources of inspiration that have yet to leave me hanging: the Holy Gospel and Mr. Rogers.
Here I have found three ways to, at least, move forward.
1. Find the Helpers
One of the primary aspects of our current culture that I find difficult to reconcile with a loving Creator is our general callousness toward other people.
We don’t seem to care who we hurt or who we lie to as long as we maintain what we have. We are called to read short pieces online where somebody got “smashed” or “got what they deserved.” And I generally find that those who are hypocritically suggesting what they previously condemned are louder and more difficult to ignore than the voices of those wanting to make things better.
Mr. Rogers famously said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
As I mentioned in the first paragraph, the town where I live recently had a jury finding that could have caused the racial violence we have seen across our country, and tensions were raised. But at the same time, people were posting pleas for peace, and, more helpfully, others were crossing racial boundaries to try to help those who might be more at risk.
We will not find any human source that can “fix” our problems, but we are all surrounded by people of all faiths and callings who can and do help those in need.
It is my wish now to not only recognize the helpers but to figure out a better means of being one.
2. To Forgive, If Not Forget
When we are surrounded by agents on all sides attempting to make us angrier and more divided, it is difficult to choose forgiveness.
But, going back to Mr. Rogers, “The only thing evil can’t stand is forgiveness.”
It is our feeling toward revenge that constantly spirals our culture further into despair. But Paul writes to the Ephesians, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (4:32).
If my reaction to evil in the world is not to “smite my enemies,” but instead is to forgive them, pray for their salvation, and work with all of my strength to reverse the damage, then maybe I can keep from my own despair.
3. It’s Not My Call
Over the course of this last election cycle, and I fear each election for the rest of my life, I have heard that if I vote for X, we will slip into Muslim-based socialism, or that if I vote for Y, our democracy is lost, and we will be under an authoritarian dictator.
Now, I have spent enough time studying language to recognize hyperbole, but this seems to be quite a bit more concerning in that people are reacting with violence against these perceived threats. But if we actually believe that God is in control, then we must realize that we are not.
If, by some chance, the United States becomes a principality of King Edward Island in the next decade, it is because that is exactly what God needs to happen in order to advance His kingdom on earth.
And as much as I love my country, and I cherish our right to vote, God finding His way into the hardened hearts of those who are still lost, using the tools that God has blessed us with, is more important than who we have selected as president, assemblyman, or dog catcher.
And in Conclusion…
In case you have not noticed, I’m in a mood.
I have grown tired of watching how easy it is for all of us to hurt and weaken people we don’t even know, and this has been my attempt to blow off some steam.
I am never sure if anyone ever reads these, but I am sure that God placed me on the mission to tell this story for my own benefit, if no one else’s.
Forcing me to face my own anger with the peace generated by an ever-growing understanding of the Creator (and the kind words of Mr. Rogers) has been a blessing.
So, please let me pray every day:
“Please be a presence for those who find me a blessing, but more importantly, for those who find me a burden.”
