This is part 2 of our blog series on biblical singleness in the church. You can check out part one and the others in the series here!
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul provides some teachings on marriage and singleness. Embedded in this text he talks about two of the benefits single Christians can enjoy.
1. Freedom from the obligation of family
In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 Paul says, I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided.
Paul is saying as soon as you have a wife and some kids or a husband and some kids, suddenly, your interests are divided. A family carries with it certain responsibilities and obligations that take time and effort, which otherwise could have been given to the Lord. So, one of the great benefits of singleness is discretionary time, the ability to make quick decisions without having to consider how it’s going to impact a spouse. The freedom to come and go as you please at whatever hour. 100% ownership of the TV remote (I just threw that one in).
One of the great theologians of our time is a man named John Stott. In 2005, Time magazine called him “one of the 100 most influential people on the planet today.” He died in 2011. What many people don’t know about John Stott is that he never married, though according to his biography, he came close to it on two occasions. And, if you asked how he was able to accomplish so much for the cause of Christ, he would say that if he had had the responsibility of a family, he could never have written, traveled, and ministered as extensively as he did. He was free from the obligation of family.
Looking back at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:26, I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
I like how the NIV says, “Those who are married will face many troubles in this life.” (A bunch of wives reading this just found their life verse). Notice he says, “Because of the present distress” (:26) – what is he talking about? There are a couple of possibilities: It may be that the church is facing spiritual persecution. We know there were hardships in the church in Corinth. Maybe Paul was saying the equivalent of “if you were a Jewish person in Nazi Germany, it’s better to not have a spouse and kids” because of the intensity and the pain of watching them be ripped away from you or killed in front of your eyes. But I think this present crisis has more to do with a spiritual urgency. He seems to give some explanation for his statement starting in verse 29 where he says, 29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short…For this world in its present form is passing away. Paul is motivated by the return of Christ. Life is short, he says. Time is short. Jesus could be coming back any day now.
And if the needs were urgent then, think of how much more urgent they are now. In light of this, we need to focus all of our energy on making sure that the people that God has put in our sphere of influence have heard. Paul says being single, like he was, enables you to respond to that urgency and focus all your energy and all your attention on Christ without the obligation of family. The second spiritual benefit of singleness is related but slightly different.
2. Freedom to serve God with undivided devotion
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
The key phrase is right there at the end, “undivided devotion.” Singleness can be a gift. A gift of undivided devotion to Christ. This doesn’t happen automatically just because you’re single. In fact, it takes amazing dedication and sacrifice and grit and courage to live that kind of life. Andrew Farmer says in his book The Rich Single Life. “Undivided devotion to the Lord is the essence of biblical identity for the single adult. It is rooted in the sovereignty of a God who places people in appropriate situations for the best possible reasons. It is steeped in the love of a God who uses even the most difficult of situations for the greatest possible benefit. It is sustained by the wisdom of a God whose timing is perfect and whose guidance is sure …. If you are a Christian, don’t despise the state to which you have been called. Live in the gift of your singleness for as long as you have the gift. And whether or not God ever ordains the prospect of marriage for your life, bring faith for the present and hope for the future because there is much to be done. Who better to set a hand to the task than you?”
Single people who are living with this kind of devotion are a great gift to the church. It’s a beautiful thing to behold to see single adults sold out in devotion to Christ through his church. When you show up and say I’m going to serve, and I’m going to put others above myself, and I’m going to make all my gifts available, and I’m going to be committed, it’s an amazing thing to watch.
I think about my friend Kerrie and her incredible love and devotion for one of our Grace Church locations and our community service efforts in ServErie. I think about Andrew, who runs his own manufacturing company and pours himself out in service to others. And Jenny who is a single mom now but still serving her church in any way she can. I think of Frank, who lost his wife and has shared his love and skills by helping widows in our church who also lost a spouse. These single adults and many more are leveraging their time and talents with undivided devotion to Christ. And the church must exist as a space where married people and single people belong together. We are better together. A healthy diversity of married and single people serving alongside each other creates mutual flourishing in the church. And it provides a beautiful foretaste of what’s to come.
As Sam Allberry observes, “If marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency.” We understand God’s purpose in marriage because we say that a man and a wife are like Jesus and His bride, the Church. So, we understand why marriage exists because it is a walking portrait of the Gospel. But what we often don’t realize is that there are some positive things that cease when the final marriage happens. One of which is marriage itself. What we now know as marriage does not exist in heaven. This is taught very clearly in Matt 22:23-30. Because a greater marriage replaces the shadows of the earthly marriage. And so, a godly single person is an earthly picture of our heavenly state. Godly singles are a walking picture of the fact that, in heaven, there is a greater marriage coming. And when godly singles are walking in godly singleness and showing that they are satisfied in their union with Christ, they remind the rest of the Church that we have a greater marriage coming, and it’s coming soon.”
So, for the single people reading this post, will you lean into the benefits and advantages of singleness and sell out in devotion to God? Will you see the church as a collection of your spiritual brothers and sisters and develop deep and life-giving relationships? And please don’t feel any shame about being single in the church, even if people say dumb things unintentionally sometimes. You are where God has you for a reason. And, if getting married is one of your desires, make it a matter of prayer and ask others to pray with you, but don’t get paralyzed, don’t go into a holding pattern, and don’t consider marriage as when your life will begin. Live fully devoted to God right now. Remember our big idea – your season of singleness is a gift from God … use it well. If you have that gift now, live with excellence now. Put your heart into high-quality, single-minded living for Christ now. You have time and energy that you wouldn’t have otherwise. Invest it now. I believe someday, God will ask you, “What did you do with that time I gave you?”
Make sure to subscribe to our blog in the upper right sidebar of this page to be notified as soon as part 3 in this 4-part singleness blog series is published! We’ll be discussing the potential spiritual pitfalls to avoid in singleness.
