Every year around this time, churches gear up for Christmas Eve. It’s one of the biggest opportunities we have. The stats are familiar: most people who don’t attend church would actually come if someone invited them. So it’s prime season for inviting. But often the invitation can feel like a transaction. Like a sales pitch with a quota. And nobody wants to be that person at the office party.
A few years ago, I put together a simple tool to help people in our church think through Christmas invitations. It was built around “The 3 Fs”: Friends and Family, Facts, and First-Hand Account. Practical stuff. And honestly, it’s been very helpful over the years.
But I’ve been rethinking it.
That original tool was shaped by an “attractional” lens. The primary question was, “How do we get more people to come to our services?” That’s not a bad question. Jesus attracted crowds. He wasn’t afraid of big gatherings. But I’ve realized that question can subtly turn people into attendance goals rather than image-bearers we’ve been sent to love.
So, I’ve been asking a different more missional question: What if invitation isn’t something we do to fill rooms, but something that flows naturally from the relationships we’re already called to cultivate?
That’s the shift I want to offer this Christmas. Not “how do I recruit attendees,” but “how do I live as someone worth following into a room?”
And let’s be clear, you’re not just inviting someone to a church service. You’re inviting them to Jesus. The service is simply the front porch. What’s inside is a Person who has been pursuing them longer than you have. Christmas Eve is one opportunity for them to encounter Him, but the real invitation is into a bigger story: God becoming human, entering our mess, making a way home. That’s the story you’re inviting them into. The service is just where the story gets told. So, I want to offer you a new, re-thought list.
The 3 Fs of a Christ-Centered Invitation
1. Friends and Family (The People You’re Already Sent To)
Before you’re an inviter, you’re a noticer. The most compelling invitations don’t start with “Hey, you should come to this thing.” They start with paying attention to someone’s life. What are they carrying? What’s shifted for them lately? What’s underneath the surface?
Maybe you’ve noticed a coworker seems heavier than usual. Maybe a neighbor mentioned their kids are with their ex this year. Maybe a friend has been quieter, more distant, and you’re not sure why. These are the human moments when you’ve actually seen someone. And when you’ve entered their world, your invitation lands differently.
Instead of, “You should come to our Christmas Eve service,” it becomes: “Hey, I know this season’s been hard with your mom’s passing. I don’t know if this would mean anything to you, but I’d love for you to come with me to our Christmas Eve service. It’s been really grounding for me in hard seasons. No pressure, but I just wanted you to know you’re welcome.”
Or:
“I noticed you mentioned the kids won’t be with you on Christmas. I hate the thought of you being alone. Would you want to come to our Christmas Eve service with us? We could grab dinner after.”
The difference is you’re not just filling a seat. You’re seeing a person. And you’re offering them an invitation wrapped in genuine care. The missional Christ-follower recognizes that you’ve been placed in your neighborhood, your workplace, your gym for a reason. These are people you’ve been called to love whether they ever set foot in your church or not.
So instead of asking, “Who can I invite?” start with two better questions: “Who has God already put in my life that I’m genuinely invested in?” and “What have I noticed about their life lately?” Jot down their names as a prayer list, and next to each name write down what you’ve noticed.
- Family members I’m actively caring for (and what I’ve noticed):
- Coworkers I’ve invested in (and what I’ve noticed):
- Neighbors I actually know (and what I’ve noticed):
- Friends I’ve shown up for (and what I’ve noticed)
2. Facts (Because Love Pays Attention to Details)
Yes, share the logistics. Where, when, what to expect. But the reason to know these details is because you’re paying attention to their experience, not just your church’s attendance numbers.
A missional invitation thinks through questions like:
- Would they be more comfortable if I picked them up?
- Do they have kids, and how can their kids have a great experience?
What will they walk into, and how can I describe it without churchy jargon?
- Can I sit with them, not just meet them there?
This is just basic hospitality. It’s saying, “I’ve thought about what this might be like for you, and I want to make it as easy as possible.”
Know the details so you can serve them well: (for Grace’s Christmas at the Warner, you can find all these details at www.christmasatthewarner.com)
- Location and parking:
- Date and times:
- What it will actually be like (in normal-person language):
- What barriers can I remove for them?
3. First-Hand Account (Your Life Is the First Jesus They’ll Meet)
Here’s where the invitation can go a little deeper. When you invite someone to a Christmas Eve service, you’re not just recommending an event. You’re offering them a window into your own encounter with Jesus. The deeper question most people want an answer to is, “Can Jesus Christ make a difference in a real human life?”
You can provide a hint at the answer to that question with your own life. The quality of your invitation comes down to the credibility of your own life, not how impressive the service is going to be.
Think about a season when you didn’t have it together. A time when you were anxious about money, or your marriage was strained, or grief had knocked the wind out of you. What did Jesus do in that? How did He show up? Maybe it was through a passage of Scripture that broke through in a way it never had before. Maybe it was through people in your church who showed up at your door and wouldn’t let you disappear. Maybe it was a slow rebuilding of hope you couldn’t manufacture on your own.
Or maybe it’s something you’re still walking through. You don’t need a neat and tidy resolution to share your story. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “I’m still in the middle of this, and I don’t have it figured out, but I’m not walking through it alone. That’s made all the difference.”
That’s the stuff worth sharing. Not “the worship is great” or “the pastor’s funny.” Those aren’t bad things, but they don’t carry weight. What carries weight is: “There was a year I didn’t know how I was going to make it, and here’s how Jesus met me in that.” And when your friend or family member hears that kind of honesty, the invitation takes on a whole new level of meaning.
Think through these prompts to share what God has actually done in your life:
- A season when I was struggling and how Jesus met me there:
- Something I was carrying that I couldn’t carry alone, and how faith changed that:
- A way that following Jesus has reshaped how I handle fear, loss, or uncertainty:
- The one thing I’d want my friend to know about what it’s actually like to walk with Jesus:
The Invitation Behind the Invitation
Every year, Christmas Eve is a beautiful opportunity, but the services is not the point. You’re not ultimately inviting someone to a service or to a church, you’re inviting them to Jesus. You’re inviting them into a story that’s been unfolding since Eden, the story of a God who refused to leave us alone, who put on flesh and moved into the neighborhood, who made a way for us to come home.
The service is just where that story gets told out loud. Your life is where they’ve been watching it all along. So this year, don’t just invite someone to church. See them. Notice what they’re carrying. Share honestly about what Jesus has meant in your own broken places. And invite them into something bigger than an event, a story that has room for them, too.
Even if they say no, you haven’t failed. You’ve been faithful. You’ve loved them well. And you’ve planted something that God can grow in His timing. That’s what disciples do.
Your Next Step
Pick one person you’ve genuinely noticed lately. Pray for them by name this week. Ask God to show you what they’re carrying. Then, when the moment comes, let your invitation be wrapped in what you’ve seen: their loneliness, their grief, their search for something more. And share a piece of your own story, the real one.